{"id":260,"date":"2010-05-10T07:37:03","date_gmt":"2010-05-10T13:37:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=260"},"modified":"2010-05-12T15:02:30","modified_gmt":"2010-05-12T21:02:30","slug":"vqc-53-broken-wings-the-quest-begins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=260","title":{"rendered":"VQC #53: Broken Wings: The Quest Begins"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_338\" style=\"width: 113px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/butterfly-reptile-1999_thumbnail.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-338\" class=\"size-full wp-image-338\" title=\"butterfly-reptile-1999_thumbnail\" src=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/butterfly-reptile-1999_thumbnail.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"103\" height=\"128\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-338\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Self Portrait (Cutts, 1999)<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Nicole\u2019s Story: Introduction<\/p>\n<p><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I had finished grad school, back from L.A. and\u00a0back in my parent\u2019s home trying to figure out what to do next.\u00a0 My\u00a0doctorate was in clinical psychology but I pretty much had decided\u00a0that I did not want to be\u00a0a therapist anymore.\u00a0It was 1999\u00a0and I was on a quest to figure out my \u201cPurpose\u201d.\u00a0 One night I had an interesting dream.\u00a0\u00a0I dreamed that there was a creature that was sort of half butterfly and half reptile.\u00a0 It had pink wings and a bright green lizard-like body.\u00a0 I had caught this creature and for some reason was trying to stuff it in a small clear plastic bag (like a sandwich baggie). In order to get her in the bag I had to fold her wings breaking them with a little tiny crack.\u00a0 It was an awful feeling, stuffing that pretty little creature in that bag! Why was I doing that? When I woke up it seemed pretty clear that the butterfly was me and that I was trying to stuff myself in a space that I did not fit and was hurting myself in the process.\u00a0 The space I was trying to stuff myself in was the space created by the expectations of my parents and society.\u00a0 I was feeling stuck because rather than figuring out what I truly wanted to be I was trying to compromise to please others.\u00a0 Once I realized this I decided to free myself of this and just really go about the business of figuring out who I really was and what\u00a0I really wanted to do with my life.\u00a0 What happens next is a much longer story\u2026<\/p>\n<p>(first posted 10.3.09)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 Nicole\u2019s Story: Introduction I had finished grad school, back from L.A. and\u00a0back in my parent\u2019s home trying to figure out what to do next.\u00a0 My\u00a0doctorate was in clinical psychology but I pretty much had decided\u00a0that I did not want &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=260\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=260"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":339,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260\/revisions\/339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}