{"id":2915,"date":"2018-01-14T09:59:27","date_gmt":"2018-01-14T15:59:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=2915"},"modified":"2018-01-14T10:02:15","modified_gmt":"2018-01-14T16:02:15","slug":"how-to-love-your-job-live-your-vision-of-success-part-v","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=2915","title":{"rendered":"How to Love Your &#8220;Job&#8221; &#038; Live Your Vision of Success Part V"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Segment Title<\/strong>:\u00a0The Top 3 Reasons Why We Fail (#5 out of a 6 series FB Live Event. Next Date: 1\/17\/18)<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/VisionQuestRetreats\/videos\/10156055135526664\/?aymt_tip=1&amp;placement=aymt_hot_post_tip\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-2916 size-large\" src=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Screen-shot-FB-Live-5-1.10.18-1024x576.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Screen-shot-FB-Live-5-1.10.18-1024x576.png 1024w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Screen-shot-FB-Live-5-1.10.18-300x169.png 300w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Screen-shot-FB-Live-5-1.10.18-768x432.png 768w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Screen-shot-FB-Live-5-1.10.18.png 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Click on the pic to watch the fifth installment of my FB Live Event on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/VisionQuestRetreats\/?hc_ref=ARR0Z04XozndoACD69K6g8JBgTJBPiamPdpHey1z5et-_NBvX-qBBZ37gwyJ6dd21uQ\"><strong>Vision Quest Retreats with Dr. Nicole Cutts Facebook page<\/strong><\/a>. Post comments and questions directly to video and I will reply!<\/p>\n<p>In Act II: Initiation, of the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Hero%27s_journey\">hero\u2019s journey<\/a> or heroine\u2019s quest the hero or heroine faces The <em>Road of Trials<\/em> (Campbell, 1949) and <em>The Ordea<\/em>l (Vogler, 2007).\u00a0 When you are on the heroine&#8217;s quest to living your Vision of Success you too will face many obstacles. Just consider these obstacles, trials and ordeals a.k.a. dragons to slay, a normal part of <em>The Quest.<\/em> Many of these challenges, like the top three reasons why we fail, are internally generated and controlled. In this post I expand on the top three reasons why we fail discussed in the above video. Also like many of these challenges these reasons are NOT real! They are like boogie men who only exist when we give them power. These dragons or challenges are; 1) lack of belief, 2) lack of conviction and 3) lack of self-discipline. Because you must clearly see and know your nemesis in order to defeat it, I will shine the light on these boogie men and give you some tips on how to defeat them. (You may also want to read\u00a0&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=2310\"><strong>How to Write Your Own Heroine&#8217;s Quest<\/strong><\/a>&#8220;)<\/p>\n<p><strong>I. Lack Belief:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Intelligence and talent are not what separates successful women from unsuccessful ones. The major difference is that successful women believe in themselves! We believe that we can accomplish the goals we set ourselves. Successful women also believe in their ability to overcome the challenges that will most definitely come their way. This strong belief in the capacity to overcome obstacles encourages us to seize opportunities that seem initially too big to tackle. \u00a0Nothing will work for you if you are not absolutely convinced of it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How do you overcome lack of belief?<\/strong> It\u2019s like asking how do I develop faith? You just have to do it: believe! Who better to explain this than Master Yoda from Star Wars? Check out these scenes between Yoda and Luke:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/XZbVLvT7qBU?rel=0&amp;controls=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe human brain is a powerful problem-solving and\u00a0prediction\u00a0making machine, and it operates via a multitude of\u00a0feedback loops. What matters most in the feedback loop dynamic is\u00a0<em>input<\/em>\u00a0&#8212; what goes into the loop that begins the analysis-evaluation-action process, which ultimately results in an outcome. Here&#8217;s the kicker: if your input shuttle for achieving a goal lacks the critical, emotionally\u00a0relevant\u00a0component\u00a0of belief, then the feedback loop is drained of octane from the start. Another way to say that is &#8212; why would you expect a convincingly successful outcome when you haven&#8217;t convinced yourself that it&#8217;s possible?\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/daviddisalvo\/2012\/08\/07\/the-10-reasons-why-we-fail\/#6951b06a3380\">DiSalvo, 2012. Forbes Magazine<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p><strong>II. Lack of Conviction<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Your conviction will fuel you to keep searching for a solution to your challenges until you finally achieve your goals.<\/p>\n<p>Women who lack conviction will go along to get along because they lack\u00a0courage and self-confidence. These women don\u2019t want to disrupt the status quo. This is scary to many, so they often compromise and conform in order to be popular or accepted, even when they know that what they are doing is wrong.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2026the notion of disrupting anything&#8211;of being the water that breaks the rock&#8211;is scary to most of us. Reason being, disruption is perceived as a\u00a0threat\u00a0to our threat-sensitive brains. Disruption means that consistency, stability and certainty might get jettisoned for a time, and that puts our hard-wired internal defense system on high alert. Sometimes, though, you have to override the alarms and move ahead anyway. If you never do, you&#8217;ll never know what could happen.\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/daviddisalvo\/2012\/08\/07\/the-10-reasons-why-we-fail\/#fcbc2893380a\">DiSalvo<\/a>)<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2928\" style=\"width: 360px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2928\" class=\"wp-image-2928\" src=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/the-wiz-mary-j-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"233\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/the-wiz-mary-j-300x200.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/the-wiz-mary-j-768x511.jpg 768w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/the-wiz-mary-j.jpg 900w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-2928\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Example of &#8220;The Ordeal&#8221; THE WIZ LIVE! &#8212; Pictured: Mary J Blige as Evillene &#8212; (Photo by: Virginia Sherwood\/NBC)<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>The Ordeal:\u00a0<\/strong>This notion of conviction being scary tracks closely with the stage of the heroine\u2019s\/hero\u2019s journey that Christopher Vogler calls \u201cThe Ordeal.\u201d According to Vogler \u201cThe hero stands in the deepest chamber of the inmost cave and faces a direct confrontation with [her] greatest fear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No matter what the heroine <em>thinks<\/em> she came for, it\u2019s Death that now stares back at her. She is brought to the brink of death in a battle with dark forces.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe ordeal in\u00a0myth\u00a0signifies the death of the ego. The hero has soared above death and now sees the connectedness of all things.\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.thoughtco.com\/ordeal-in-the-heros-journey-31352\">Petersen, 2017<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p><strong>How do you overcome lack of conviction? <\/strong>Decide what is important to you and don\u2019t ever compromise your values. If something is worth doing, it\u2019s worth doing well. Try to choose work that you have passion for because this passion will fuel your work when the going gets tough. Even if you have not found your passion or achieved your Vision of Success yet, do your work with love and passion. Let this passion show even when the road gets hard and a task seems mundane. Kahlil Gibran tells us what it is to \u201cwork with love\u201d in his poem, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.katsandogz.com\/onwork.html\">\u201cOn Work.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music.<br \/>\nWhich of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?<\/p>\n<p>Always you have been told that work is a curse and labour a misfortune.<br \/>\nBut I say to you that when you work you fulfil a part of earth&#8217;s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,<br \/>\nAnd in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life,<br \/>\nAnd to love life through labour is to be intimate with life&#8217;s inmost secret.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>III. Lack of Self-Discipline: <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Any successful woman who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never done it without discipline. Discipline means staying focused and requires sacrifice and self-control to avoid temptations and distractions.<\/p>\n<p>Discipline is not an excuse for perfectionism. It does not mean going beyond your limits. As a matter of fact, it means acknowledging and respecting your limitations. Beware an idealized vision of success. Achieving your Vision of Success or succeeding at one goal won\u2019t eliminate all your problems, and bring complete happiness and fulfillment.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2936\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2936\" class=\"wp-image-2936 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/self-discipline-dog-300x220.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"220\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/self-discipline-dog-300x220.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/self-discipline-dog-768x564.jpg 768w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/self-discipline-dog-1024x751.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/self-discipline-dog.jpg 1349w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-2936\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Self-Discipline<\/p><\/div>\n<p>If you lack self-discipline, you are likely to give up too quickly when problems arise. A lack of discipline makes you susceptible to short-term temptations that lead you astray from your mission. Undisciplined women see no reason in making sacrifices today in order to achieve their Vision tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re disciplined it is easier to avoid distractions. You can stay focused on your goals, make temporary sacrifices, suffer and abstain from temptations. You will be able to see these temptations and distractions as what they truly are: Obstacles on the journey to living your Vision of Success.<\/p>\n<p>Self-discipline also encompasses your ability to persevere (persist) and to make and carry out plans, which I will discuss further on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How to overcome lack of self-discipline?<\/strong> The good news is that discipline CAN be developed. Some do not develop self-discipline due to laziness and a lack of inner strength or conviction.<\/p>\n<p>According to Steve Mueller (2016), you can work on developing and\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.planetofsuccess.com\/blog\/2015\/what-is-self-discipline\/\">increasing your self-discipline<\/a>\u00a0gradually. He says, \u201cYou can develop more self-discipline for instance by:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Increasing your stress tolerance levels.<\/li>\n<li>Meditating.<\/li>\n<li>Removing distractions.<\/li>\n<li>Breaking bad habits.<\/li>\n<li>Postponing unbeneficial behaviors.<\/li>\n<li>Making plans and rewarding yourself for accomplishing your goals.<\/li>\n<li>Tolerating a higher level of emotional discomfort.<\/li>\n<li>Exercising regularly.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>If you need some help with this, check out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.success.com\/article\/14-ways-to-improve-your-self-discipline\">14 Ways to Improve Your Self-Discipline<\/a> at Success magazine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>III A: Lack Perseverance (Persistence)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>More women fail, not because they lack intelligence or talent, but because they just quit. Women who succeed do not give up. On the heroine\u2019s quest you will be knocked down many times. You will face failure, rejection and fatigue. You may face illness, haters, broken hearts and losing those that you love. Remember these things represent dark forces tempting you to give up! (See \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=2882\">Letting go of Habits, Haters &amp; Hubris<\/a>\u201d) It\u2019s important to remember two words: persistence and resistance. Persist in what you must do and resist those things that distract or are bad for you.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2937\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2937\" class=\"wp-image-2937 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/persistence-mouse-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/persistence-mouse-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/persistence-mouse.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-2937\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Perseverance<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Perseverance does not mean beating your head against a brick wall! Persistence is important, but you also have to recognize when you need to course correct and learn from mistakes. No one else can tell you when it is time to give up or change course. You have to be in tune with yourself to know this.<\/p>\n<p>Looking for help more help with perseverance? Learn more about these 7 Tips from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.success.com\/blog\/7-ways-to-persist-when-everything-in-you-wants-to-give-up\">Success magazine<\/a><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Ignore everyone else.<\/li>\n<li>Become your own biggest supporter.<\/li>\n<li>Stop and appreciate the little things.<\/li>\n<li>Focus on the next step.<\/li>\n<li>Throw your watch out the window.<\/li>\n<li>Stop looking for a way out.<\/li>\n<li>Acknowledge your limitations.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>III B: Lack of Planning<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Napoleon Hill said <strong>\u201cA goal is a dream with a deadline.\u201d <\/strong>Having self-discipline means taking the time to make a plan and then persistently sticking to it. You can\u2019t just dream it. Many women and men have failed because of lack of planning. The plan does not need to be perfect but data shows that having a plan increases the likelihood of achieving one\u2019s goals.<\/p>\n<p>Once you have clarified your Vision of Success, written it down and visualized it you must define your goals. Next, outline a concrete plan with steps to achieving your goals and your overall Vision of Success.\u00a0 Consider breaking your plan down into 5-year goals, 1-year goals, 6 months, 3 months and 1- month achievements. After completing this plan, you can do weekly goals that will put you on schedule to complete all of the other milestones. Be realistic here so you don\u2019t get discouraged. If you don\u2019t have a proper plan, you are less likely to succeed in life. Without a clear plan, you\u2019re apt to waste a lot of time and perhaps never achieve your goals.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2938\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2938\" class=\"wp-image-2938 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/mouse-getting-the-cheese-300x166.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/mouse-getting-the-cheese-300x166.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/mouse-getting-the-cheese.jpg 540w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-2938\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Ultimate Boon!<\/p><\/div>\n<p>My father often quote,\u00a0\u201cHeights by great men (and woman) reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight but, while their companions slept, they were toiling upward in the night.&#8221; (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow). That means stick to your plan. Review your progress, make adjustments but keep moving forward. It also speaks to discipline and sacrifice.<\/p>\n<p>If you need tips on making and sticking to a plan check out \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=2906\"><strong>End Procrastination NOW: Creating a plan and sticking to it\u201d<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>All of the above may seem daunting or sound like a lot of hard work. That\u2019s because it is! Embarking on the heroine\u2019s quest to pursue your Vision of Success is NOT for the faint of heart. But, when you are doing work you love, your passion fuels all that you do: making it a bit easier, more fun and turns your live into an exciting adventure!<\/p>\n<p>Wishing you all the best on your heroine\u2019s quest to achieve your Visions of Success!<\/p>\n<p>GET MORE\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=2382\">FREE SUCCESS TOOLS<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>Did you find this useful? Please Share!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Let\u2019s Stay Connected!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/nicolecutts\/\">LinkedIn<\/a>\u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/SuccessDoc\">Twitter<\/a>\u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/the_adventuresof_isabelle_book\/\">Instagram<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Segment Title:\u00a0The Top 3 Reasons Why We Fail (#5 out of a 6 series FB Live Event. Next Date: 1\/17\/18) Click on the pic to watch the fifth installment of my FB Live Event on Vision Quest Retreats with Dr. &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/?p=2915\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,3,19,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ask-dr-cutts","category-success","category-vision-quest-retreats","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2915","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2915"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2915\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2941,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2915\/revisions\/2941"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2915"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2915"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nicolecutts.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2915"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}