The Vision Quest Chronicles: Tales of Living One's Vision

Yesterday I talked about being stuck/clinging to a rock on the way down the river of living my Vision. I have been dragging my feet on writing my vision story to go in the book. The plan was to at least begin it. I had another plan as well that I did not share with you. I was going to just putter around the house with no schedule sans pressure to produce and be active. I did okay with that…not great…but okay.

I groomed Rex (who is shedding like crazy!) I blew all the hair etc. off the deck, I dusted and vacuumed the harem (my den), washed doggy blankets, cleaned the laundry room, swept off the front steps, dusted and cleaned my room, deep cleaned the stove, shook out the rugs, swept the showroom/living room then took Mr. Rexford to the river for a walk and eventually sat down to write.

I set my sights on writing 3 pages stream of conscious just to unplug the damn. I did pretty good with this, by getting a lot of the dross off the top of my head. Today I actually start writing the story. Not sure if I should type it or write free hand but I am thinking free hand because that flows better for me.

I also find myself wondering… what do you do to get unstuck?

Vision Quest Survey  Report: as of today, 129 people have started the survey and 100 have completed it!

(first posted 5.31.09)

Obscure Words and Thoughts By, Nicole Cutts

How often do you feel stuck in the course of attempting to live your Vision?

On average I probably feel stuck about 3 times a week! I wish living my Vision was something that flowed nay gushed like a river coming down a mountain, but that is no doubt owing to my chronically high expectations of myself and life. The reality is that one minute I am flowing, in the groove, and the next minute I am stuck on or sometimes clinging to a rock! I say clinging because I suspect that it is my fear that gets me stuck and I could let go of the rock if I wanted to but noooooooo…what would happen if I do? Who would I be without my daily dose of existential angst?!

Going with the flow at all times is something that I dream of. Many times on my walks by the river I stand and watch it as it flows gently toward the sea, bubbling and gurgling and imagine myself just happily floating along buoyed by the cool water. Then I leave the river and get engaged in my work and return to that halting clinging pace of stop and start and fear and exultation and slothfulness etc.

Today the rock I am clinging to is feeling pretty slippery. I have known for about two weeks now that I need to start writing my story to go in The Book (the one this whole blog is about, see “About the Vision Quest Chronicles”). Every step forward is scary for me, mainly owing again to the high expectations thing, and fear of failure and success (remember the angst?) I imagine that it has to be perfect…I’m afraid of moving forward…what if I fail…what is I succeed? WHAT IF I JUST DO IT?! That’s where I always land anyway so why don’t I just start here? Don’t know yet, but at some time today I will sit down and just make a start and see what comes out. Wish me luck.

Vision Quest Survey Report: as of today, 127 people have started the survey and 99 have completed it!

(first posted 5.30.09)

Sometimes you need to be reminded why you are living your Vision.

After taking some time off over the long weekend I have been trying to pick up the thread of my work. I keep asking myself…”what do you want to be doing now?” I have a ton of answers but then doing very little keeps winning out. I would worry about it but I realized I few weeks ago my problem was that I could not put down my currently paying work to work this Vision then the problem became I could not put down my Vision work for the currently paying work! I let that go and realized I always shift when I need to so why worry about that?

So tonight I was just playing around, feeling a bit listless. I checked into the Vision Quest Survey results to see how that is doing and was blown away! My eyes literally popped when I saw 108 responses! It says about 88 completed but this is all more than I expected. I am really grateful that people are taking the time to do it, but I got a real treat when I started reading what people are writing about their Visions. I saw so many women with beautiful Visions, creative Visions, Visions of helping people and healing the world, caring for people who it. My spirits were lifted by what I was reading…I was literally inspired (filled with spirit). I was reminded why I am living my Vision. I want to help people give birth to these beautiful Visions, to find them and to nurture them and to bring them to the world.

It feels good to be brought back, to have that clarity, to be reminded.

(first posted 5.27.09)

So last night I reported that I finally finished the *Vision Quest Survey and got it out there. Also reported that I was exhausted…working a lot lately. This morning I awoke more rested, but did have to do some work for a workshop I am giving tomorrow. For some reason, can’t remember why now I popped over to Survey Monkey to see something and was shocked to see that SIX women have already completed my survey! Wow, I feel so good. Maybe my friend Liz was right, maybe my cousin Dawn was right. They among others told me “build it and they will come.” Perhaps this is an affirmation.

I am still working on just doing the work putting it out there and leaving the results up to the Universe. I will let you know how well I am doing with this as the journey continues. For now I am going to try and take it easy and enjoy Mother’s Day…after just a little more work

(first posted 5.10.09)