G*ddess Unites with Her Vision, detail (Cutts)
Is pink a power color?
I just got back from the Pennsylvannia Govorner’s Conference for Women in Philadelphia and I am still buzzing from the energy generated in a convention center filled with thousands of women! The speakers (male and female) were amazing as was the positive energy. Their speeches were both empowering and informative, from Marcus Buckingham, to Judge Glenda Hatchet, to Suze Orman, who rocked the house. (I love her!) I saw tons of amazing powerful women with smiles on their faces driven by serious purpose, women living their Visions, women of all varieties with Visions just as diverse. I was able to connect with several of them and learn a bit about their stories…community organizers, writers, students, dancers, saleswomen, CEOs. Some women I spoke to are very clear about their Visions, others finding their way. Most of the women were there to learn, grow and to support each other.
I had gone up there hoping to be reinvigorated and redirected. After suffering what I now realize (in part thanks to your comments) where minor setbacks I was feeling down about my Vision. Originally I was going up to speak to a group of women at U Penn about the Vision Quest Project and my research for the book but as you may recall from my last post that did not come off. Somehow I knew it would be okay and that things would work out as they should so I went with a sense of curiosity, wondering what I would find. I got so much energy and clarity from this adventure and was able to look at the potential spaces in which my buddy Dawn and I will hold the group when I go up to Philly in Oct. I am very excited about this.
I had so many realizations that I can’t really capture them all here but I will give it a shot:
1) Once again my ego was trying to trip me up! Why was I so crushed about my retreat not going as planned? Because I felt like a failure. That is bunk! If my purpose and mission is to help people and especially women clarify and achieve their Visions for their lives then I can do that anywhere, not just in WV and not just on a retreat. When I feel like a failure or worry about how I’m going to perform this is always a clue that my ego is too much in it. When I ‘m being of service I don’t worry about stuff like that. I just show up and give my best.
2) I’m still too impatient! My ego is also tied up in this last realization. It was hard for me to concentrate at times on the great speakers because all I could think about was how much I wanted to be up there on the stage talking about my research and my book and how much I wanted to be motivating the crowd. This is a form of “hating” that I must rid myself of if I am to truly realize my full potential and bring my gifts to the world. Somewhere along the line I have started to grow tired of being a student and want to be the teacher only. That is also crazy. As soon as I think this way I will slow my growth and ultimately have less to give.
3) I’m even more powerful than I suspected! As much as I’m facing my fears and living my Vision I am also still holding back in so many ways, allowing myself to be a victim of other people’s expectations and perceptions of me. I allow myself to feel defeated when others don’t support me or help me. That is victim thinking and leaches my energy. The only one who has to believe in me and my Vision is me.There is more that I have not even processed and so much that I learned and figured out up there that I will be implementing over the next few months so it will show up in later posts but right now I need to go and get quiet…just wanted to share the energy.
I hope you had a peaceful week. Drop me a line and let me know how you are doing with your Visions!
(first posted 9.15.09)
