The Journey Begins (Cutts)
It has been some time since my last post in which I asked the question “What is your emotional, physical, or spiritual equivalent of jumping out of an airplane?” I wish I could say you had not heard back from me because I was completing a jump, but the truth is I am actually writing you during my free fall. My landing is not even in sight! You see for me my emotional and spiritual equivalent is doing whatever is hardest and most needed in any given moment. After a long period of avoidance I finally took the jump and have been going inside to wrestle with some demons that directly affect the living of my vision. I have written about all of them over various posts but I am going to go ahead and name them here. These demons are called Ego, self-doubt, and fear, and they have been dogging my every step for some time. Somehow I manage to move on with them but the time has come to address them seriously. So what am I doing to face them?
I am stepping up my spiritual program; have employed a coach, a hypno-therapist and am doing some intensive self study, through reading and meditation. The result of all this work? I wish I could say that I am at peace, but the truth is, as I poke at the demons they seem to be digging in, flaring up and acting out! I am feeling unclear, unsettled, irritable and uneasy! I guess they are not going to go quietly…but this is okay. By living my vision I get to participate in the archetypal heroine’s quest, in which these battles are never easily won.
Frankly it makes it difficult to write when I feel all over the place but I felt that I must at least attempt in an effort to be true to this blog and ultimately to my vision. So in many ways I feel as if my journey begins again…and again and right now I am in the wilderness. If you have any experience with this I’d love to hear about it. Please leave a comment here
(first posted 11.7.09)
